LED ZEPPELIN, KISS AND AC/DC MAKE MOST STUPID LYRICS LIST
May 19, 2009
ROCK legends Led Zeppelin are in the dock for some of the worst pop lyrics of all time.
Lead vocalist Robert Plant sang the bizarre line: “Squeeze my lemon till the juice runs down my leg” in his band’s infamous The Lemon Song.
But Led Zep are not the only offenders. Some of the greatest acts in pop history have been slated for stupid pop phrases in hilarious new book Crap Lyrics by Johnny Sharp, available for pre-order at www.amazon.com.
Other superstars as Queen, The Beatles and Prince have all been rapped for lines that are too cheesy, very saucy or just plain gibberish.
“Squeeze my lemon till the juice runs down my leg.” The Lemon Song, Led Zeppelin
“I don’t want to see a ghost, it’s the sight that I fear most. I’d rather eat a piece of toast, and watch the evening news.” Life, Des’ree
“I see a little silhouetto of a man, Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Will you do the fandango?” Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen
“Caught beneath the landslide in a champagne supernova in the sky.” Champagne Supernova, Oasis
“Touch my bum, this is life.” Cheeky Song, The Cheeky Girls
“We’ll start over again, grow ourselves new skin. Get a house in Devon, drink cider from a lemon.” Buck Rogers, Feeder
“Keep the blood flowin’ down to your feet, Brother Lois will be around in a minute, with a bucket filled with squirreled meat.” Superfunkycalifragisexy, Prince
“I’m sorry that I doubted you, I was so unfair. You were in a car crash and you lost all your hair.” Don’t Pass Me By, The Beatles
“I know a mouse and he hasn’t got a house. I don’t know why I call him Gerald.” Bike, Pink Floyd
“I’m serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer.” Rhythm Is A Dancer, Snap
“I hope my legs don’t break, walking on the moon.” Walking On The Moon, The Police
“Lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you don’t confuse them with mountains.” Whenever, Wherever, Shakira
“Snot running down his nose, greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes, Drying in the cold sun, watching as the frilly panties run.” Aqualung, Jethro Tull
“I’m down on my knees, searching for the answer…Are we human, or are we dancer?” Human, Killers
“Oh babe, I wanna put my log in your fireplace.” Burn Bitch Burn, Kiss
“Now you’re amazed by the VIP posse, steppin’ so hard like a German Nazi.” Play That Funky Music, Vanilla Ice
“She has brown sugar all over her booga-wooga.” Kinky Reggae, Bob Marley and the Wailers
“Fox hole love, pie in your face, living in and out of a big fat suitcase.” Around The World, Red Hot Chili Peppers
“Let me put my love into you babe, let me cut your cake with my knife.” Let Me Put My Love Into You, AC/DC
“So many lyrics, we keep them in stores. We’ve even got them comin’ out of our pores.” Let’s Get Ready to Rumble, PJ & Duncan
Crap Lyrics, by Johnny Sharp, will be published by Anova Books on June 1 and is available for pre-order at www.amazon.com