Eyes ‘N’ Lips – Pornstar For President
EYES ‘N’ LIPS
PORNSTAR FOR PRESIDENT
Released April 29, 2014 (Street Symphonies Records)
01. Jack And Daniel
02. Fuckin’ Obsessive
03. Pornstar For President
04. Soldier Of Love
05. With You
06. Bring Me To Your Paradise
07. Come Away, Come Away With Me
08. Desire And Curiosity
09. Rock Your Love
10. Day After Day
Mr. Skorpion – vocals
Gypsy – guitar
SwiffPhily Dee – bass and backing vocals
Vik – drums, keyboards and backing vocals
Donnie Young – rhythm guitar
Produced, mixed and mastered by Oscar Burato.
The curse of the Italian bands continues. I don’t know why, but it seems the majority of sleaze bands from that area are plagued by poor vocalists — and Eyes ‘N’ Lips are no exception. The interesting part about this Italian group is that their singer actually hails from Brazil — however, regardless of birth location, the outcome is the same.
I do like Eyes ‘N’ Lips‘ attitude throughout Pornstar For President, even if they try a little too hard to be decadent. The problem with this album rests solely on the shoulders of singer Mr. Skorpion, who often sounds as if he was stung by a real scorpion and is in his final death throes — twisting, contorting, writhing in pain, and making god awful noises in the process. There are some shrieks and wails in the title track that simply defy logic — I began to wonder if the remaining members of Eyes ‘N’ Lips had the singer’s ball in a vice during the recording sessions and would occasionally tighten the grip in some sort of sick masochist joke. By the time I got to the next track, “Soldier Of Love”, I was beginning to wish I had been drafted by the army and lost my hearing due to a non-fatal explosion.
The worst part about Pornstar For President is that the album could have been so much better. The band play an energetic brand of sleaze that is best displayed during the furious “Fuckin’ Obsessive” and “Desire And Curiosity”. Any positives are quickly forgotten though when Mr. Skorpion starts squawking like a transvestite trying to squeeze into a pair of panties three sizes too small. The entire delivery really gets old by the time “Rock Your Love” comes around, because the song has so much potential but is simply ruined by the vocals. If we ever needed proof that there is more to hard rock than image, because Mr. Skorpion does look the part, this album is undeniable evidence.
If you’re willing to endure the pain of Pornstar For President through ten tracks, which is a real struggle, you won’t know whether to laugh or cry — but shaking your head in disbelief is a given. As I see it there are only two options for Eyes ‘N’ Lips in the future — either get themselves a real vocalist or hope they go viral as a complete joke. The Beatles once recorded a song called “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”, in the case of Pornstar For President every instrument — not to mention anyone unfortunate enough to listen — are bawling their eyes out.
www.eyesnlips.net – www.facebook.com/pages/EYES-N-LIPS/221389967880460 – www.streetsymphonies.com
Reviewed by Skid for Sleaze Roxx, August 2014
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